Ingredients:

4 people (Ben, Ged, Na, and I)
1 Van
8 days
5000 miles
30 Rolls of film
2 Cameras
1 Water cooler
3 Sleeping bags
1 Radar Detector(optional)

Method:

Part 1: From Cleveland to South Dakota.

1. Make sure that all members are likable people who will not complain when there's no food, or drink, or shower, or sleep.
2. Drive empty-mindedly from Cleveland to South Dakota within 18 hours. Do not let the driver become sleepy. Exchange driver immediately when he/she starts to snore.
3. When you arrive in the Badland National Park in S. Dakota, park the van in the middle of the parking lot at 4:00 am, go to sleep immediately. It is likely that half of the tour group is already asleep. (It is recommended to make reservations. But if your group lacks any long term planning skills whatsoever, sleeping in the van is the only option.)
4. At 8:00 am, the National park is a beautiful sight even if you haven't showered for 24 hours.

Part 2: From Badlands to Mt. Rushmore

1. Mt Rushmore is totally cool and most people have been there.
2. The caves around Mt. Rushmore are great if you have time although I wouldn't recommend checking out all of them. Just one will give you a pretty good idea of what a cave looks like.
3. Refrain from entering any gift shop. It wastes a lot of time and, god-forbid, money.
4. The Custer National Park is an ideal place to stock up on food and water and flip your underware since you haven't showered yet.

Part 3: From Mt. Rushmore to almost Yellowstone.

1. Yellowstone west entrance is closed at 9:00 pm (according to the nice people at Mt. Rushmore.) So try to drive as close to Yellowstone as possible then get some decent sleep.
2. If you're sick of sleeping in a Van, try the campground. KOA operates one of the best campground with many branches. (It is recommended that you should have reservations, But if your group lacks any long term planning whatsoever, ... forget it next time when you see the * sign it means that reservation is recommended. Actually, the nice people at KOA mentioned that although most office closes at 11 pm. They can leave the key in a box if you have a reservation for after-hour check-in)
3. Cabins are equipped with heaters and beds which are necessities when all you have are sleep bags and no camping equipment whatsoever.
4. Take long shower as soon as you settle in. There might not be a chance tomorrow.
5. Breakfast in the campground is pretty good. You get to hang out with the other campers provided that you wake up before 9:00 am.

Part 4: From somewhere in the middle of Big Horn to Yellowstone

1. The Big Horn National park stands in the way to the west entrance of the yellowstone.
2. Once you enter Yellowstone. the construction will blow your mind away. You'll feel like driving on Sukumvit Road with the most beautiful lake on the right hand side.
3. Your sorrow will go away as soon as you see a bunch of Bisons roaming around half-naked. (Tips: An indication that there might be wild animal in the area is there will be a bunch of cars parked on the side of the roads with many camera-weilding tourist.) Do not go too near them or else you will get too good of a picture while other tourists blame you for scaring the animals away.
4. Again, *, or else you'll be met with a sign at the entrance that says campground full ... hotels no vacancy. If that is the case don't panic, at least you didn't waste 2 hours buying stuff at the Yellowstone East entrance gift shop. Okie, may be you did. Now panic. You don't have enough time to see anything. The nearest lodging is 40 miles away and it's too dark to see any more animal. Instead of blaming each other, drive around looking like you know where you're going. If you are lucky, there might be a canceled reservation in one of the campground which nobody noticed. The only way you can find out is to drive up to the closed office in the campground. Although there is a big sign that says "Canyon campground Full", there might be a small sign-up sheet on the notice-board that tells you which campsite is available.
5. Now you have a campsite with no camping equipment, the only thing that can go wrong is having 4 people with only 3 sleeping bags. At this point, the driver has to sacrifice. Be prepared to wake up so cold that you will not remember your mother's maiden name.

Part 5: A day in the yellowstone.

1. At 5:00 am, it is wise to drive around instead of freezing to death. It is also the most beautiful time in Yellowstone. Driving down South to the Fishing bridge will enable you to see the majestic beauty of the YellowStone Fall. Wide angle lens and a tripod are a must. But then again why destroy an unplanned trip by bringing them?
2. Be sure to go back to pay the campsite fee at the Canyon office. The Yellowstone National Park is not doing well financially and every dollar counts. (It only cost $12 for the good night sleep).
3. Now that you are warm and cozy. Take a shower and wash some of the Jeans that you've been wearing for three days. The peanut butter sandwich in the cooler will be as valuable as a good steak at this time.
4. The trip from here to Tower Falls is a depressing one. Even more depressing is the scenery from the Tower Falls to Mammoth Spring. The Mammoth Spring is no longer what it was 10 years ago. The activity has stopped. What's worse is the damage that forest fire brought to yellowstone 5 years ago.
5. From Mammoth spring to Old faithful is a long way. But there are many hot springs and paint pots along the way.
6. Try to get to Old faithful before sunset. (It still erupts in the dark, but you won't see it).
7. The last meal at Yellowstone should be a fulfilling one before leaving throught the South entrance and into Grand Teton National Park.
8. A good night sleep in a five-star hotel is excellent for the morale of the members of the excursion. Being the first time that you slept in a hotel for 3 days, might need some gettin' used to. Keep in mind that

1) It is ok to sleep on the bed.
2) You don't have to wake up freezing cold.
3) There is a sink and a bathtub in the room.

Part 6: From Grand Teton National Park to Salt Lake City.

1. A hazy day can destory the beautiful view of Salt lake city.
2. Although according to plan, salt lake city is the only destination in Utah, minds can change by a simple glimpse of the Utah license plate. "It's the delicate Arch", the nice people at the visitor center in Salt Lake City explains. It's on the way to Colorado. Of course, Brice Canyon is also in Utah, but it's not on the way and it's not on the Utah license plate.
3. Visiting the delicate arch won't delay the trip if you can drive 200 miles per hour. Since you can't, you have to stay at a small town, 20 miles from the National Park of Arches. At 10:00 am, Ben's restaurant is the only place to eat. (Tips: Telling the friendly waitress that your friend's name is also Ben does not get you a discount.)

Part 7: From Delicate Arch to Boulder

1. If you want to see sunrise at the delicate arch, you can't.
2. Wake up at 7:00 am and drive recklessly to the National Park.
3. The trail to the Delicate Arch is a 2 mile up-hill climb. Bring lots of water.
4. The trail is marked by piles of cubed rocks. However, if had not paid any attention to the instructions at the entrance, you will not notice these otherwise very visible trail markings and eventually you'll end up climbing on the unsafe sandstones risking your worthless life unneccesarily.
5. It doesn't matter how you get there. There will be around 30 tourists on top of the mountain that early in the morning. In which case, you will be asked to move out of the way while the others take pictures.
5. There are also many other Arches in this National Park. But if you had had only 4 hours of sleep and had been hiking for 5 miles. You reaction would be, "Hey lookie there's another arch".
6. Let's go then. Hopefully, one of you is awake enough to drive.
7. If you arrived in Boulder near midnight and decided that you can still drive a couple of hours to Estee Park (the entrance of the Rocky Mountain National Park) then just go. In which case, you'll later discover that you can't find a place to stay and again have to sleep in campsite and, god-forbid, in the van. What the hell. You're too sleepy to hear your friends complain anyway. At least, there is a place to take a shower.

Part 8: From Estee Park to Rocky Mountain National Park

1. Sorry I was asleep the whole time except when they woke me up to take pictures.

Part 9: Life in Boulder

1. Boulder is a nice town. The downtown is a must see. But if you've been there three times already, you should not tell your group how to get there because they will spend the rest of the day there and you'll end up driving in the middle of the night.
2. Getting a good hotel to stay it's ideal. But most physical systems are non-ideal, therefore, you'll probably end up taking turns to drive until you reached St. Louis.

Part 10: St. Louis and Chicago

1. There are many good Thai resturants in St. Louis.
2. Expect delays in waiting to go to the top of the Arch.
3. Expect a view of St. Louis city when on top of the Arch
4. By the way, thanks Mr. Indiana Patrolman for that lovely ticket that you gave us.

Part 11: Chicago

1. There are many good Thai resturants in Chicago.
2. Expect no delays in waiting to go to the top of the Sears Tower.
3. Expect a view of Chicago when on top of the buidling.
4. I am sick of chicago. Although, our host was especially nice. Thank you Pisut.

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Want to write Thai articles about IRC #Siam for poo jad garn rai wan? Let's do lunch. (Yu)

Photos and Written material by: Yujira Jirapinyo
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