If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding

If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'
If you don't you are half a man

If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing

If you are well dressed, she says you are a play boy
If you don't, you are a dull boy

If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

If you are well dressed, she says you are a play boy
If you don't, you are a dull boy

If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics

If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring

If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN'
So simple, yet so complex So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
"O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN"

Sorry I don't know the original author for this. Maybe we should give him/her a good round of applause.