 |
| |
"Of
all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the
belief that 'falling in love' is love or at least one of the manifestations
of love. It is a potent misconception because falling in love is subjectively
experienced in a very powerful fashion as an experience of love. When
a person falls in love what he or she certainly feels is "I love
him" or "I love her." But two problems are immediately
apparent. The first is that the experience of falling in love is specifically
a sex-lined erotic experience. We do not fall in love with our children
though we may love them very deeply. We do no fall in love with our friends
of the same sex - unless we are homosexual oriented - even though we may
care for them greatly. We fall in love only when we are consciously or
unconsciously sexually motivated. The second problem is that the experience
of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in
love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues
long enough. This is not to say that we invariably cease loving the person
with whom we fell in love. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic
lovingness that characterizes the experience of falling in love always
passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades."
 "To understand the nature of the phenomenon
of falling in love and the inevitability of its ending, it is nescessary
to examine the nature of what psychiatrists call ego boundaries."
At infantry, we can't seem to separate the universe from ourselves, there
was no identity as to what we are and what we are not, what are mine and
what is not. We came to accept our size, physical limits, and power. The
knowledge to this limit is call "ego boundary". As we
grow up to young adult, we find that we are separate individuals, isolated
from others, confined by physical limits and power, relatively small and
weak function of the society. Our ego boundaries are harden, our world
became colder, more confusing and hostile. It is very lonely and sometime
painful to be confine within one's boundary. We
seek to escape the wall of individual identities so that we feel more
unified with the world out side of ourselves.
|
 |
"
The experience of falling in love allows us this escape- temporarily. The
essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section
of an individual's ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity
with that of another person. The sudden release of oneself from oneself,
the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic
surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundary is experienced
by most of us as ecstatic. We and our beloved are one! Loneliness no more!"
|
| |
This experience
of merging with someone reflects the feeling we had when we were with our
mom at infantry. Being united with the 'loved' one made us feel like the
world once again revolves around us. The power that we had to give up when
we were kids is back to us again, we are now powerful, the future is bright,
and nothing is impossible anymore. Superhero days are back to us once again.
"The unreality of these feelings when we have fallen in love is
essentially the same as the unreality of the 2 year old who feels itself
to be the king of the family and the world with power unlimited." |
 |
Reality bites.
Sooner or later, in response to the problems of daily living, individual
will reasserts itself. He wants to have sex; she doesn't. She wants to
go to the movies; he doesn't.. etc. Each person realized that they are
no longer "one" with the partner and that the other has their
own wishes and desires. Eventually the ego boundary get set back in
their own place, gradually or suddenly, we fall out of love.
We are back to separate individual. From here, they either break up the
relationship or begin the "real" work of "loving".
"Falling in love is not an extension
of one's limits or boundaries; it is a partial and temporary collapse
of them. The extension of one's limit requires effort; falling
in love is effortless. Lazy and undisciplined individuals are as likely
to fall in love as energetic and dedicated ones. Once the precious moment
of falling in love has passed and the boundaries have snapped back into
place, the individual may be disillusioned, but is usually none the larger
for the experience. When limits are extended or stretched, however, they
tend to stay stretched. Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.
Falling in love is not."
Falling in love has little to do with purposively nurturing one's spiritual
development. If we have any purpose in mind when we fall in love it
is to terminate our own loneliness and perhaps insure this result through
marriage. Certainly we are not thinking of spiritual development. Indeed,
after we have fallen in love and before we have fallen out of love again
we feel that we have arrived, that the heights have been attained, that
there is both no need and no possibility of going higher. We do not feel
ourselves to be in any need of development; we are totally content to
be where we are. Our spirit is at peace. Nor do we perceive our beloved
as being in need of spiritual development. To the contrary, we perceive
him or her as perfect, as having been perfected. If we see any faults
in our beloved, we perceive them as insignificant -little quirks or darling
eccentricities that only add color and charm.
So what is real love if falling in love is merely a temporary and partial
collapse of ego boundaries? " The experience
of real love also has to do with ego boundaries, since it involves an
extension of one's limit. One's limits are one's ego boundaries. When
we extend our limits through love, we do so by reaching out, so to speak,
toward the beloved, whose growth we wish to nurture."
"The
act of many years of loving, of extending our limits is a progressive
act of enlargement of self, incorporating the world around us, a stretching
and a thinning of our ego boundaries. In this way the more and longer
we extend ourselves, the more we love, the more blurred becomes the
distinction between the self and the world. We become identified with
the world. And as our ego boundaries thinned, we begin more and more toe
the same sort of feeling of ecstasy that we have when our ego boundaries
partially collapse and we 'fall in love.' Only, instead of having merged
temporarily and unrealistically with a single beloved object we have merged
realistically and more permanently with much of the world. This mystical
union with the world, although is more gentle and less dramatic than falling
in love, it is much more stable and lasting."
|
|
So
what is love?
Love is perhaps
too large/deep to be understand/describe by words, but in this context
love is: "The
will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's
spritual growth."
|
The
process of extending one self is an evolution process, where you
grow as a human being.
When a person is willing and sucessfully extending one's limit, even for
other people's spritual growth, they themselves have grown to be
a larger state of being. The process is never ending and very satisfying.
As we've heard, one can't love others unless one learns to love oneself
first. We can't be a source of strength unless we established our own strength.
So self-love and love for other has to exist together, not
as a separate function.
This act of extending, which means going beyond one's limit, suggest that
it requires effort. "When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable
or real only through our exertion - through the fact that som for that someone
( or for ourself) we take an extra step of walk an extramile. Love is not
effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful." |
| |
Above quotes
and extraction are from M. Scott Peck, M.D. from his book, "The road
less travelled, A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spritual
Growth". There's much more to this topic than I can put in this article,
but I do realized how short the netter's attentionspan is, so.. go grab
the book, it's a valuable mind asset to aquire.
I hope you find "real love",
an eventual total collapse of one's ego boundaries. It isn't easy, to break
down our ego boundaries. We must find ourselves and our identity before
we can transcend it. You might find temporial escape from ego boundaries
when you "fall in love", sexual intercourse, or use a cirtain
psychoactive drugs, but that's just a small glimse of nirvana, not nirvana
itself. It takes commitment and effort in exercising real love to reach
a lasting enlightenment. Only then, you'll not only find that you are no
longer a separation of any other entity and that you are oneness with the
universe, but the perception of discrete object, separated from one another
is an illusion. Its like being back to infantry again. The world would be
as much more peaceful and 'loving'. Happy Valentine.
|
| |
A view of true
love by M. Scott Peck, extracted and recomposed by putt. 14 Feb 99 |
| Your
Comments |
|
TREATISE ON LOVE & BEAUTY
by: AAMIR FAREED <aamir-themaster@usa.net
A) PERSONALITY IS MOULDED TAKING EFFECTS FROM
1) INSTINCT
2) HEREDITY
3) ENVIRONMENT
4) INCIDENTS/EVENTS/SITUATIONS
5) EDUCATIONS(CONVENTIONAL),
6) REVELATIONS (DERIVED DIRECT FROM THE SHOWERING OF RAYS OF ULTIMATE
LIGHT FROM CREATOR......AND NOT LOVE AS
LOVE IS ALSO PART OF INTERACTIONS WITH PEOPLE, IF LOVE CASTS EFFECT
THEN ALSO HATRED, ENVY, FEAR, HAPPINESS, HORROR, GRIEF, ALL THESE EMOTIONS
CAST EFFECT ON PERSON AND REMEMBER THAT LOVE IS A PART OF EMOTIONS AND
EMOTIONS ARE MADE IN THE LIGHT OF “DESIRES” OF THAT PERSON, AND ALSO
DESIRES ARE MOULDED IN THE LIGHT OF “IDEOLOGIES OR IDEOLOGY” OF THAT
PERSON AND IDEOLOGY IS SHAPED IN THE LIGHT OF INSTINCT, ENVIRONMENT,SITUATIONS,
EDUCATION, STUDIES (PERSONALITY FACTORS) . THAT IS WHY SAME INCIDENT
OR BEHAVIOR CAST DIFFERENT EFFECT ON DIFFERENT PERSONS.
B) LOVE IS NOT INHERITED
IE IF FATHER
MAY BE MISANTHROPE, BUT HIS SON OR DAUGHTER CAN BE LOVING TO EVERY ONE
IE. FULL OF ALTRUISM AND KIND HEARTEDNESS , SIMILARLY HIS FATHER MIGHT
HAVE BEEN CRUEL OR HATING BUT HE/SHE CAN SURELY BE EXTREMELY OPPOSITE
TO HIM BECAUSE HEREDITY ONLY EFFECTS IN THE SENSE THAT SOMATIC/PHYSICAL
CHARACTERSTICS MAY BE SIMILAR, LIKE COLOUR OR VOICE OR MANNER OF WALKING,
BUT MOST OF THEM CAN ALSO BE CHANGED THROUGH MEDICAL SCIENCE REVOLUTION
AND ALSO BY HIMSELF OR HERSELF LIKE VOICE OR MANNER OF TALKING OR WALKING,
INTONATION OR ACCENT ETC.
C) LOVE IS
NOT RESTRICTED TO ONLY “OPPOSITE SEX LOVE”
RATHER
IT IS CATAGORISED OR CLASSIFIED IN MANY GROUPS, LIKE CLASSES OF LOVE
WHICH ARE CONFUSED WITH “ULTIMATE DEFINITION OF TRUE LOVE” .......
BECAUSE FOLLOWING ARE NOT LOVES, BUT ACTUALLY ‘ATTACHMENTS & INCLINATIONS’.
1. CONGENITAL
LOVE (INSTINCTIVE LOVE LIKE LOVE FOR SON OR DAUGHTER),
2. HUMANITY LOVE (ALTRUISM, IN SIMPLE WORDS KINDNESS),
3. FRANK LOVE (FRIENDSHIPS),
4. SENSUAL LOVE (LOVE TO QUENCH SOMATIC THIRST WITH OTHER
5. PHYSICAL SELF BE IT MALE OR FEMALE) ,
6. LOVE OF PHYSICAL PERFECTION WHETHER IT IS HUMANS OR NON HUMANS
PHYSICAL PERFECTION IS CONFUSED WITH WORD ‘BEAUTY’ WHEN IT IS IN HUMAN
ESPECIALLY IN FEMALES, AND IN NON HUMAN OBJECTS IT IS CALLED ESTHETIC
SENSE FEELING, BUT ALSO BEAUTY IS FAR GREATER WORD AS IT IS ACTUALLY
“HUSN” WHICH IS CONFUSED WITH PHYSICAL PERFECTION BUT HUSN IS ‘GREATEST
N ULTIMATE GOOD(BENEFICIAL FOR EVERYONE) ATTRIBUTE OF ANY THING WHETHER
HUMANS OR OBJECT. SO ATTRACTION OR INCLINATION FOR ANY OPPOSITE GENDER
IS NOT ACTUALLY TRUE LOVE UNLESS IMPELLED BY TRUE BEAUTY.
7. FORMAL LOVE (RESPECT FOR ELDERS, VARYING FROM CULTURE TO CULTURE),
8. CONJUGAL LOVE
(MARITAL RELATION DEMANDS SOME PHYSICAL BENEFITS FOR BOTH PARTNERS,
IE. SEX SATISFACTION, AND ESPECIALLY IN OUR ORIENTAL SOCIETY FINANCIAL
SUPPORT IN FREE FROM HUSBAND, CHILDREN IN FREE FROM WIFE, MAID SERVANT
FOR FREE IN SHAPE OF WIFE, A PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVE WOMEN FOR FREE TO DISPLAY
BY HUSBAND, THAT IS WHY IF BOTH PARTNERS ARE GETTING PHYSICAL BENEFITS
THEN THEY TEND TO BEHAVE IN GOOD MANNER WHICH IS CONFUSED WITH TRUE
LOVE, BUT IT IS A TWO WAY GIVE N TAKE RELATION, NOT LOVE (TRUE LOVE).
NOW I MUST TELL YOU WHAT IS TRUE LOVE (ULTIMATE AMOR) .....?!
A) A TRUE LOVE IS WHAT IS THE COMBINATION OF THESE HUMAN QUALITIES LIKE,
DEVOTION, SACRIFICE, CANDID FRIENDSHIP, DEEP REVERENCE(RESPECT), EMOTIONAL
WORSHIP, ADORATION, MUTUAL DERIVATION OF ULTIMATE PEACE FROM THE SELVES
(NOT BODIES) OF EACH OTHER, ABOVE ALL BEING PROUD TO BE IN LOVE WITH EACH
OTHER.......
IF ALL THE ABOVE ELEMENTS/QUALITIES/ATTRIBUTES EXIST IN ANY RELATION THEN
IT IS TRUE LOVE, WHATEVER MAY BE THE RELATION IE. RELATION OF OPPOSITE
SEX, CONJUGAL RELATION, PATERNAL/MATERNAL RELATION, FRIENDSHIP, HUMANS
RELATION , HUMAN & ANIMAL RELATION, HUMAN N PHYSICAL OBJECTS RELATION
(IN THE SENSE THAT SOME OBJECTS HAVE SIGNIFICANCE DUE TO ANY GREAT EVENT/INCIDENT
OR MEMORY OF LOVED PERSON ETC.). OTHER WISE (IF ABOVE ATTRIBUTES ARE NOT
FOUND) ALL RELATIONS ARE JUST “HYPOCRISY” AND ONLY EXIST BECAUSE OF “EXPEDIENCE/CALL
OF TIME/SELFISHNESS/CUSTOMS/TRADITIONS ETC.” ‘
B) INTENSITY OF LOVE: IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THING, AS IT IS THE GREATEST
FACTOR WHICH DETERMINES HOW GREAT ANY LOVE IS!!!...
C) LOVE IS NEVER EVER ONE SIDED, “ALLAH(GOD) LOVES MORE THAN HIS CREATED
HUMANS LOVE TO HIM” BUT ONLY THEN WHEN CREATURE LOVES NO MATTER HOW TINY
INTENSITY IT IS, IT MAY BE STATE OF NO SIN NO GOOD (LOWEST LEVEL OF OBEDIENCE),
BUT IT MUST COME UNDER THE CATEGORY OF LOVE.
D) TRUE LOVE IS WHICH ENJOYS “HIGHEST POSSIBLE INTENSITY OF LOVE”......!!!
BECAUSE LOVE IS THE ONLY THING WHICH NEVER PERISHES RATHER KEEPS GETTING
ENHANCED WITH PASSAGE OF TIME........AND IT IS TWO SIDED ALWAYS.
E) LOVE IS ALWAYS SACRED: EVERY LOVE IS AS SACRED N AS GREAT AS ‘LOVE
BETWEEN ALLAH AND MAN’, OTHERWISE IT IS NOT LOVE.......
F) LOVE IS NEVER CONDITIONAL: TRUE LOVE IS ONLY RELATION WHICH IS ‘ NEVER
CONDITIONAL OR BOUND’..... IT WANTS NOTHING BUT TRUE LOVE AND IT GIVES
NOTHING BUT TRUE LOVE (OBVIOUSLY LEAST THING TO GIVE TO YOUR TRULY LOVED
ONE IS YOUR SANCTITY AND LIFE)
G) ONLY GOOD PERSONS CAN BE BLESSED WITH TRUE LOVE: LOVE RELATIONS CAN
ONLY BE GROWN WITHIN THOSE WHO ARE BY NATURE IN TUNE OR HARMONY WITH “GOOD”
IE. "ULTIMATE BEAUTY", OTHER WISE IT IS NEVER LOVE!!! BUT SOME
THING ELSE, AS LOVE IS ITSELF GOOD ATTRIBUTE SO ONLY GOOD PERSON CAN BE
INVOLVED INTO IT AND OTHERS CAN ALWAYS BE ENTANGLED BY SELFISH EMOTIONS
FOR FULFILLING THEIR MATERIAL DESIRES. LIKE MARRIAGE IS THE GREATESTLY
EXPLOITED AND NOTORIOUS RELATION AS AN EXAMPLE OF RELATION CONFUSED WITH
LOVE.....
H) TRUE LOVE IS EVERLASTING: ONCE PLANTED IN SOMEONE’S HEART FOR SOMEONE
ELSE NEITHER TURNS INTO HATE NOR FINISHES, OTHERWISE IT WOULD NOT BE TRUE
LOVE BUT ANY OTHER RELATION CONFUSED WITH TRUE LOVE, BECAUSE LOVE ONLY
IS BORN WHEN ONE IS AWARE/COGNIZANT OF HIS/HER LOVED ONE’S SELF TO THE
EXTENT HE IS AWARE OF HIS/HER OWN SELF. AND ONE WHO IS AWARE OF HIS OWN
SELF IS QUINTESSENCE AND PROSOPOPEIA OF “NOOR E HAQ” ULTIMATE TRUE LIGHT
OF SAGESSE N WISDOM FROM ALLAH TO HIS CREATED MAN ESPECIALLY ON THOSE
WHO ARE THEOPHILUS & JADEDIAH, IE. LOVER N LOVED BY ALLAH...... BECAUSE
LOVE CANNOT BE AVAILED OR GROWN UNLESS N UNTIL ONE KNOWS THE REALITY OF
LOVE!!! IF SOMEONE LOVING JUST TURNED HATING LIKE LOVING SON OR DAUGHTER
TO THEIR FATHER OR MOTHER, THEN IT IS NOT LOVE I MEAN TRUE LOVE, RATHER
IT IS CONVENTIONAL ATTACHMENT DUE TO INSTINCT AND DUE TO GOOD N COMFORTING
BEHAVIOUR, IE. IT IS SELFISH GIVE N TAKE RELATION...
I) LOVE N BEAUTY ARE SLICED WITH EACH OTHER, CAN NEVER BE SEPARATED AS
THEY ARE INTEGRAL PARTS OF EACH OTHER. ACTUALLY TRUE BEAUTY (ULTIMATE
GOOD ATTRIBUTE OR COMBINATION OF ALL GOOD ATTRIBUTES FORMING ULTIMATE
GOOD ATTRIBUTE IE TRUE BEAUTY) INSTIGATES TRUE LOVE & TRUE LOVE AWARDS
TRUE BEAUTY TO THOSE MUTUAL TRULY LOVED.
J) LOVER DEMANDS NOTHING FROM LOVED ONE BUT ONLY AND ONLY LOVE IE. TRUE
LOVE FOR HIM/HER ONLY!!!!!]
K) HOW N WHEN TRUE LOVE MAY HIT OR START ?!!!!!!
ACTUALLY, UNDER THE UMBRELLA OF GUIDING /DOMINATING/SUPERVISING IDEOLOGY,
EVEN A HUMAN FORMULATES SPECIFIC IDEAS OF INTEREST LIKE SOME ATTRIBUTES/QUALITITES
WHICH INSPIRE/IMPRESS HIM/HER, SO WHEN HE/SHE SEES ANY HUMAN BEING/OBJECT
BEARING THOSE OR ANY ONE OF THOSE QUALITIES THEN GETS INCLINED TO THAT
HUMAN/ OBJECT, SO JUST BECAUSE OF LOVED ATTRIBUTES, HE /SHE SEES SOMEBODY/SOMETHING
BEAUTIFUL & FEELS ATTRACTED/INCLINED & THAT BEAUTY (AN ATTRIBUTE) AWAKENS
LOVE (LOVE IS A DESIRE, DESIRES ARE DESIGNED BASICALLY BY INSTINCT BUT
MOULDED & FINISHED BY THEOPNEUSTY + LIFE EXPERINCES+ STUDIES+ENVIORNMENT
ETC. DESIRES INCLUDE: WISH TO BE LOVED, TO HAVE BEAUTY, FOOD+SHELTER+CLOTHING,
SENSUAL PLEASURE, MONEY, FAME, HEALTH, POWER/AUTHORITY/RULE, APPRECIATION.
FURTHERMORE, DESIRES GUIDE/SUPERVISE/DESIGN/CREATE EMOTIONS/FEELINGS AND
EMOTIONS N FEELINGS INCLUDE: LOVE, BEAUTY, HAPPINESS, SADNESS, ANGER,
FEAR, ENVY, NAUSEATION ETC.)
AAMIR FAREED <aamir-themaster@usa.net>
from 202.5.129.11 on Friday, June 02, 2000 at 14:07:00
You'll never
know what's the true love,
since you're falling in love with someone. I didn't mean such a puppy love,but
I meant the way likes growing a plant and taking care of it.You'll know
completely when you find someone in the real self and found that he/she
is only one you can live with, in your whole life. nan <liverp_77@yahoo.com>
from proxy-1.samart.co.th on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 at 15:48:14
Love can
be on many different levels.
People who sleep with someone before they even get to know them first
are usually the most cynical about love since although you can be attracted
to someone sexually and experience a kind of attachment through intimacy,
love is something which takes time to develop between 2 people.
Sibling love or loving your friends is something entirely different and
is on a more platonic level.
True love or deep love is far more profound. It is the hardest to find
yet even when 2 people do find each other and fall in love, it may end
in separation or divorce. Why? Human beings are driven by so many personl
wants, needs and desires that it is easy to become too self-interested
or selfish or stubborn etc, rather than realising that those things are
so unimportant compared to the love that they share. Arguments and breakps
come from being too stuck in one position and not being flexible enough
with give and take. Setting conditions on people or relationships will
also lead to conflict. There are so many things that people can fall out
over that it requires great commitment and belief in each other and the
human spirit to persevere when things get tough.
Consequently I always admire any couple who can stay together through
all he trials of life. Paul <taogun@hotmail.com>
from p02-bunting-gui.tch.virgin.net on Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 21:02:44
love is different
for everyone.. its an
undefinable thing. wat may be *love* to one person may just be strong lust
to another.. but who's to say wat is real love and wat's not? purleaseeee!!
im a high school student and it didnt take me a phd or fancy letters after
my name to figure that one out! leelee from proxy.zip.com.au on Tuesday,
October 26, 1999 at 14:09:43
love is like
addiction to someone special who treat you nicely.
But when you lost someone it hurt
really badly.
pam <Nouvone@usa.net> from 204.0.13.4
on Tuesday, July 27, 1999 at 00:01:00
It seems to
me that many think that true love should be all giving with no desire for
anything in return. Can any person be that strong? And should any one try?
Try if you like but I wish you better luck next time :) Red <redmondial@hotmail.com>
from t3o27p43.telia.com on Saturday, May 08, 1999 at 02:13:40
My my my !
Love is made of all these little things we hardly notice, small attentions,
benevolence, good faith, little efforts of the everyday life, and kindness,
lots of kindness. Yes, it does cost to love. It costs in energy, in power,
in money sometimes, in time, but if you look deep deep deep, you know this
is the only right thing to do. No matter how much it does cost you. We should
really tell people the truth and the difference between attraction and love.
It can be really disturbing, if not terribly upsetting not to know what
is what. But I guess it takes a little bit of time to sort these things
out. I have a thai boyfriend. I am very proud of him, and I like him very
much because he is so strong-willed (this is not so common with thai people).
I have decided we would be lovers. And I work very hard to please him. I
am happy to see him happy with me. Francois <Kassiba@hotmail.com>
from h224.s4.ts31.hinet.net on Tuesday, May 04, 1999 at 04:12:32
I really like
what was said here,
i have been in a relationship now for 7 years. It seems like just yesterday
that we met and i am always asking myself if i am good enough to be with
someone so enjoyable to be around all the time. We are always together i
think the longest time we spent apart has been about a week all other times
we work together same days off like the same food we both laugh at the same
thing but his sense of humor is sort of dry but i find that funny too. i
read your article and really lioked it and am going to use some of what
was said in my day to day life.
Thank you much dylan <dylan@quik.com>
from ip001.windsor.quik.com on Friday, March 26, 1999 at 10:52:48
Thanks for
some more informations.
Luis from Switzerland LUIS <luiberg@aol.com>
from 170-212-47.ipt.aol.com on Sunday, March 21, 1999 at 09:24:52
Is it love
when I feel I could give anything even my life to her?
Is it love when I know it hurts so bad when she's with someone else?
Is it love when I just want to give and give and give and that makes me
happy?
Is it love when I forgive and forgive and never blame her for anything?
Is it love when I got this funny feeling when she's around?
Is it love when I keep thinking of her nights and days?
Gosh... please tell me it's not love or i am in a BIG trouble!
Trapped in a rainbow <freaky.girl@i.am>
from coop-13.fandm.edu on Monday, March 08, 1999 at 06:36:11
Love of such
status would be difficult to achieve. Love that requires opening of self
must first be comfortable with self. Then there's a question of what 'true'
self is. Most of us still lives in the world of "false-self" where our identity
is inseperatable to the "image" we'd like to project. Some of us spent a
life time building such self images, only to find stress/suffering trying
to cling on to such illusion. Thus, true-self is never found. How could
one transcend 'self' when they don't know what it is?
Broken Pencil <brokenpencil@hotmail.com>
from truppp429.inet.co.th on Friday, March 05, 1999 at 23:45:05
Furthermore...
If there is any subject
which I feel a human MUST discover on
their own accord, this would be it.
It's probably healthier to let each
individual discover the meaning of love. Michael Fischer <michaelf@innocent.com>
from internet-user.jwt.com on Monday, February 22, 1999 at 22:21:26
True Love is
religious experience.
I worry that young readers will read this
article and find themselves disillusioned
with romance.
Michael Fischer <michaelf@innocent.com>
from internet-user.jwt.com on Monday, February 22, 1999 at 22:19:57
Replying to
mr "X": Although the article was done by me, but most of the materials are
extracted from a book by M. Scott Peck, M.D. as mentioned in the article.
I had to cut alot of the material out due to the limited composition time
( i was doing it right on valentine morning..so gotta publish it right away)
and secondly because netters don't really like long article.
The concept of this "real love" is more into philosophy/spritual growth.
It sort of reflect or even bends toward christian mysticism (not the commerciallized
ritual chistian).. The idea of enlightnment reflects that of a buddhist
philosophy; which says th at nothing is really "mine", everything was borrowed
from the elements, and to reach a true lasting peace (nirvana), is to detach
of all things, to reach 'nothingness'. That concept is like breaking away
ego-boundary(what's mine), as represented here in t his article. When you
'love' everything, the concept of self expand, and self becomes everything..
so both nothingness and oneness are pretty much in accordance theme of 'engligthen'..
a lasting spritual peace. Different approach, same goal. putt <putt@siamweb.org>
from parcy.parliament.go.th on Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 15:00:22
I've longed
to see someone who can really distinguish the meaning of 'fall in love'
and 'love' for a long time. This article has just reappraised my perception
of Love. After all, all my comprehension of the mystique (so-called Love)shaped
up by my goo d and bad experiences have coem to intersect with the conformity
of this article. Who wrote this? I do have a lot to talk about, should you
contact me please. X <drx_71@hotmail.com>
from dyn088-073.mdx.ac.uk on Saturday, February 20, 1999 at 01:18:14
I believe that
people "fall in love" because they want to be loved. You don't need to reach
enlightment to be able to give "true love" to someone. You need to have
peace with yourself and love yourself. Once you are secure about who you
are, you will be able to "give" love to any one without having to "expect"
anything in return. For me love is about two good friends. Falling in love
is about illusion and hormone in our bodies! Some people changed everyday,
but some people remain the same since th ey were in highschool. Putting
two people together for life, I don't think so! Full moon <fullmoon@ethergate.com>
from pm2-08-20.pdx.du.teleport.com on Wednesday, February 17, 1999 at 10:40:14
Look, there
is no such thing as true love. As a kid you may dream about that, but as
an adult you realize the harsh reality that it DOESN'T exist hits you. You
can still find love, but ask yourself if it is really perfect and true in
everyway... from resh1735.tigernet.trinity.edu on Wednesday, February 17,
1999 at 03:42:07
thank you.
david <bambi@twave.net> from 12.21.240.176
on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 at 00:54:36 |
| By: AAMIR ( DivinePrince ) |
20/03/2007 19:04 |
WHAT IS TRUE LOVE
LOVE VS. WORSHIP
Note: This Article was written in response to some reader's objection
that word of worship cannot be used for ... |
| By: werner ( hardes ) |
04/07/2006 20:40 |
Re: where does love end
Sex affairs and real estate business in Thailand ?
My former engaged girlfriend Sa had a dissolute sex affair with R., ... |
| By: werner ( hardes ) |
04/07/2006 20:39 |
Re: falling in love
Sex affairs and real estate business in Thailand ?
My former engaged girlfriend Sa had a dissolute sex affair with R., ... |
| By: Nice ( Umair ) |
07/10/2005 16:59 |
where does love end
i believe falling in love with someone is a greate pleasure but the end of love is sex |
| By: hon ( bhaby ) |
21/09/2005 11:22 |
Re: True Love
true love is only found with GOD
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| By: mary ( mary ) |
28/09/2004 20:14 |
"Falling in Love"
falling in love with someone is the most wonderful thing & greatest experience for me, eventhough sometimes its too ... |
| By: B ( Cherry ) |
14/04/2004 13:52 |
Re: What is Real Love?
that's it ! you shot hehe |
| By: Noppawan ( lookingforu ) |
28/10/2003 18:31 |
True Love
All comments and openions are right because of "True Love" is up to own thinking. For me, if someone tell ... |
| By: Bill ( AdamStryker ) |
15/01/2003 11:56 |
What is Real Love?
Falling in love,,,oh that wonderful feeling when all you think about is her. You just can't wait to be ... |
| By: ash ( ash ) |
01/05/2002 02:43 |
falling in love
Can the in-love be separated from sex? Can the in-love experience happen without a sense of commitment? The troubadours believed ... |
| By: Navaporn ( Sine ) |
15/01/2002 09:59 |
Good Article
I liked it! |
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