| LOVE
LETTER
On the morning
of the second day, I vaguely caught the scent of roasted meat. I didn't
know who was having a barbecue, but the aroma was enticing.
Without
even knocking, Dom pushed the door to my hut and came in.
"Hi! I grilled
some fish for you. Char got it from the fisherman last night. Look!"
"Morning."
I said.
"Are you
having a headache from too much whiskey?"
I smiled
compulsively.
"What about
you? You drank quite a bit too."
She shrugged
her shoulders and said: "I'm sorry, Tui. Sometimes, I'm just like that."
I kept quiet
so she could speak, but she didn't. Instead, she returned to the ground
outside to grill the fish. I got up and stood at the door. It was so strange.
At this moment, she didn't seem like Ah Dom anymore, but a simple Thai
farmer's daughter. On the sandy ground, she fanned the modest fire. Occasionally,
she squinted, fanned and blew. Behind her, was the sea; incredibly bright,
wide and peaceful. If only the world could be just like that. I watched
her and felt a sense of relief.
Suddenly,
Ah Dom lifted her head and looked at me, smiling: "Tui, I have something
for you."
"What is
it?"
Highly spirited,
she said: "A letter from my boyfriend."
She looked
so shy and so completely like a lady as she said that.
"A love
letter?" I teased her. "You really received a love letter? Unbelievable"
"Of course.
This boyfriend of mine is very good, loves me very much. He even said
that he'll come again and buy me a pair of shoes. Just see!"
I received
the letter. It was written in English and was indeed sent from Australia.
What it
said was: "Miss you. Can't forget the times we spent together. I will
come again. I want to buy you a pair of shoes, but I don't know your size.
Tell me about it."
Love, John.
I forced
a smile. There are so many Johns in this world.
"Have you
told him your size?" I asked.
"I did."
Dom said, delighted.
"Oh, you
can write in English?" I said, surprised.
"No, I only
know ABC. I asked another boyfriend to write the letter for me."
"Lord! Miss,
how many boyfriends have you got?"
"I'm not
sure myself. Must count." Dom answered seriously. "I've got lots of letters
and lots of postcards."
"Pooh,"
I sighed, eyeing her. "Do you know what I'm thinking of?"
"What?"
she asked.
"I think
you've got a problem. Up here!" I said, pointing to my temple. "Ah Dom,
this kind of letters are very common. These western babes are like fish.
They come and then they go. They enjoy bathing in the tropical sun. When
hot, any kind of words would come to their lips. But once the vacation
is over, it's bye bye to romantic Thailand. He's back in his world, you're
left behind in yours. Do you understand?"
"I know."
Dom said, smiling. "I knew that long ago."
"Really?"
I asked, feeling a little confused. I had seen her pulling the crowds
at the pier, touting so aggressively. I couldn't imagine that a girl like
her could be so naive and take those letters so seriously. She said she
understood. But I only became more confused.
Dom took
the letters back from me, folded them carefully and tucked them into her
trouser pocket.
"Quick,
finish your fish! It's 11.30. The ferry is coming. Money is coming."
The transition
of her mood was that abrupt. I couldn't figure out what she was thinking
of. What does she want in life?
LIKE
A QUEEN
There is
ferry service to Koh Samui every day. It comes in the mid-mornings and
leaves in the late afternoons. The ferry seems to be the pulse in Ah Dom's
life.
When the
time came, Ah Dom would come to life. First she would tidy up the huts,
then she would check if there were enough kerosene, food and whiskey in
the kitchen. Next, she would hurry Char to get the Beep Beep washed. Once
washed, she would hop on and turn on the music, popular Thai songs which
sound like an audible cocktail of Asian languages. All set, Dom would
smile with satisfaction. Perspiring slightly while sitting in the colourful
Beep Beep, she looked like a queen.
"Come along!"
Dom shrieked.
"Me?" I
pointed to the tip of my nose. "Follow you?"
"Right.
Ha ... hurry, help me pull customers." Dom said, laughing very loudly.
The pier
at Koh Samui was a exhibition for western babes. There weren't any Hilton
Hotel guests. Most of the travellers were in their
twenties, males and females in T-shirts and shorts or even a batik sarong.
When the wind blew that sarong would flap about revealing ... shorts.
My God, you won't be able to imagine how many youthful and sexy types
of shorts are possible. On the entire street, you would them, basking
in the tropical sun. The western babes indulged with no reservations and
left the whole world behind them.
Dom touched
my arm.
"Tui, Tui,
look at that one. He looks like my boyfriend John."
"Snap out
of it. I bet his name is John too."
Dom knitted
her eyebrows and stared at me.
"Miss, concentrate
on your work and stop daydreaming." I said and we walked towards the pier
together.
What a woman.
If she lived in a big city, wore Issay Miaki clothes and had mastered
a few foreign languages, I'm sure she would make an excellent PRO.
Her weapon
for PR was not her appearance. It was the energy in her character, the
frank humour, the near mad and straightforward vitality.
"Hey, babe!"
Dom cried, waving her hand. "Over here! Come. Look at me. Listen to me.
Our huts are the only ones in Koh Samui that give special offers. Specially
cheap. Free transport to and from pier. Free candle-light. Free air. Free
seawater."
"You mad?"
I said, laughing. "Air and seawater are of course free."
"I know,
I know. But when there are tens of people touting at the same time, you
have to sound special. Otherwise, people won't listen."
Dom was
shouting again, sweating in the crowd and the sun. The Western babes who
stepped down from the ferry, were happily surveying the unfamiliar surroundings.
Touts employed by the holiday hut operators were swarming towards them
like bees.
"Hello,
sweetheart! Come over here, sweetheart, I've been waiting for you. Cheap!
Fifty baht a day. I'm included."
I jumped.
"What? What
did you say? Fifty baht and you're included?"
"Just to
get their attention. Why so excited? Of course I don't mean it.
Look at me. So dark and so skinny. Nobody would want me."
I didn't
know whether to laugh or to cry. Ah Dom really stood out from the crowd
like a flashing neon light.
"Come, come,
cheap, cheap ... aiyah Tui, come help me shout."
I don't
know what made me do it.
"Hey, friend.
She's right. Her huts are the best around. First class. I can vouch for
that. Fifty baht. Fifty baht. She's included!"
We rolled
with laughter.
WHAT
CAN TOMORROW BRING
Ah Dom was
a glutton. She made food disappear from the table like it was magic. In
no time, she devoured several large crabs. I like girls who can eat. After
we were done with the touting, we would run to the marketplace to get
prawns and crabs. Then, we would hand them over to the food stalls to
be cooked. On the roadside, we held our impromptu feasts.
Ah Dom noticed
a Caucasian lady walk pass.
"Tui," she
said. "Do they sell sunglasses in Singapore?"
"Sunglasses?
Yes." I replied.
"Buy one
for me. I want the type with the white frame. The lens that looks like
a mirror from the outside."
"My God,
that's the most old-fashioned type. As if you want the world to know that
you're wearing sunglasses. It's too flashy. You aren't some rock star,
are you?"
"But I like
that type. Looks cool." Dom said dreamily. "Very special. It doesn't matter
whether you can see other people. Other people are sure to see you."
"I'm not
buying." I said.
"Not buying?"
she said with a terrible frown. "I didn't ask you to give it to me for
free. I just wanted you to help. I'll pay you now. How much? Say!"
"It's not
the money, Dom." I said.
"What is
it then?"
"If I were
to promise you that I would buy something for you, then it's the same
as saying that I will come back to Koh Samui soon. I can't promise you
that because I don't know when I'll come again."
"You're
leaving ..." she said, a little stunned.
"No, not
now. But sooner or later, I've got to go. Right?"
"Coming
again?"
"Sure. But
I can't tell you when."
We talked
less from then on. We ate the crabs in silence. The pier came under the
blazing heat of the sun. The waves were beating so stubbornly without
anyone comprehending the sounds.
I remember
that on the night before I left, Ah Dom revealed another side of her character
...
That night,
I was with her and her brother. We built a fire by the beach and we were
grilling fish again.
Ah Dom said:
"Back home, we used to have six buffaloes. All six were skinny. Then we
sold three, but we were still broke. There were four boys and four girls
in our family. The elder siblings have all gone to Bangkok. I didn't go.
I know that Bangkok is no good. For two hundred baht, you can get a girl
or a boy to sleep with you. So I stayed in Koh Samui with Char. Tui, do
you know that I'm still a "good girl"?"
I didn't
say anything. Char didn't seem to understand a word his sister said. Staring
at the fire, he just paid attention to grilling the fish.
"This place
is no good either. Tui, this place is getting worse. It's going to become
another Phuket. You don't know. Five or six years ago, this place only
had farmers. Now, there're holiday huts everywhere, tourists everywhere.
I don't know, I really don't know what will become of this place in future."
"More tourists,
more money, right?" I said.
"The countryside
is better."
"Go back
then." I said.
"No, you
don't understand." Dom said, her voice dying to
a whisper and her face turning as red as the grilled fish."
After a
pause, Dom began to hum a Thai song to herself. Traditional Thai songs
are all like that, an outpouring of feelings forced through a partially
stoppered throat. Her voice quivered in flashes. Momentarily, even cynical
me was led to believe that there is a chance that a flash might still
last forever. But in fact, it can't. A flash is just a slight movement
in the shimmering sea.
I decided
to leave on the next day.
Really.
I didn't promise her anything. I didn't even say when I would be coming
again.
A
LIFETIME OF GOODBYES
Eight months
later, I went to Koh Samui again, this time, with a couple of friends
I met while touring Egypt.
I didn't
see her at the pier. Later at the Golden Hut, her boss said: "Dom has
gone to work at another part of the island. Her brother Char followed."
My friends
and I stayed at Golden Hut anyway. I told them all about Dom.
Then one
day, I saw her at the pier. The ferry service was over. But fate had it
that she was eating with three companions at a food stall.
She didn't
change at all. Seeing me, she was as passionate as ever. She dragged a
chair and wanted me to sit with her.
I said:
"Wouldn't it be better if we sit alone at another table?"
"No." she
said shyly. "Not nice. My boyfriend is with me."
"Really?"
I asked, somewhat surprised. "John is here?"
"Ai, not
John. It's Michael."
"Oh ..."
"This Michael
is very good to me. He's been in Koh Samui for two weeks. I like him a
lot." Dom blinked delightfully.
"Oh ..."
"Tui, we
must be happy, right? I'm fine now, very happy. Maybe Michael will leave
tomorrow. So what? No worry. I have other boyfriends."
I stared
at her in silence.
"Tui, you're
special." she said hurriedly. "I treat you like a
very very good friend. We can talk."
"Thank you."
I said.
"I think
you've changed." Dom said, looking at me. "What about me? Did I change?"
I looked
at the Mekhong Whiskey on the table, then the Krung Thep cigarettes.
"No, you
didn't change at all."
"Really?
Nothing changed. Complexion, face, all no change?"
"All the
same." I said with a forced smile.
She was
delighted.
"Really
all the same? Oh! That's good. You have a camera. Take a picture for me
and my boyfriend."
I took their
picture. Then I said: "Goodbye."
Suddenly,
Dom asked me: "Tell me, is Australia good?"
I pulled
her aside.
"Dom, Australia
is Australia. You are you. If you can find the same kind of sun and sea
in Australia, then you won't find any Australian guys here. Dom, I can't
imagine the day when you're carrying a baby and pushing a trolley into
a supermarket in Australia. Maybe you don't like what I've said. But it's
the truth. That's all. Goodbye."
"I understand."
she said. "It's really goodbye for us."
"Who knows?"
I said.
She nodded,
then she resumed her joyful countenance and returned to the noise and
heat from which I extracted her briefly. The guys at her table were laughing
loudly. I heard someone say: "Hens reared in a toilet."
I still
visit Koh Samui once or twice a year. But since that last time, I had
never seen her again.
Someone
at the pier said: "Dom has gone to Pattaya. Char didn't go. Nobody knows
where this shy and quiet little boy is."
Koh Samui
is still busy. Tourists are still all over the streets. People I meet
still say hello, return greetings and say goodbye. One thing is for sure.
Regardless of where Dom is now, the word she hears most often shall always
be "goodbye".
Without
Ah Dom, the sea at Ko Samui is still able to bring in the ferry. Without
her, the waves still beat ...
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